Monday, 2 February 2015

Why Nigerian girls prefer to date married men - Onyeka Ibeanusi


Article written by musician and social commentator, Onyeka Ibeanusi.

This controversial topic has been a subject of regular argument without any credible answer. You may have wondered why a beautiful young, presumably intelligent girl will leave a trail of young and energetic young men running after her to pitch her tent with a married man. Someone she is fully aware belong to someone else. This phenomenon has led established female celebrities who are considered screen goddesses of some sort to end up marrying old men. Sometimes as second, third or even fourth wives. There is no need to go into details because the list is endless.
Back to the pressing issue without straying far away from the main subject matter. Why do Nigerian girls prefer married men?
Like many before me, I will try to present answers to this controversial subject. Firstly, attention must be drawn to the fact that Nigeria is a country where everything is measured by the amount in your bank account. Nigerians do not care how intelligent, hardworking or talented you are; if you are not making money, I mean enough money, then you are still a learner.
Most girls have had their fair share of heartbreak from guys and in defence have opted for married men. Some want that fun ride, with no serious commitment, emotions and energy put into making something work with a single young man. Then again, the economic state of the nation. Many girls want to meet up financially but they don't want to be seen as 'Runs girls'
'Aristos' or whatever name we call it so the married man option to them becomes a lesser evil.
A married man will do anything to get that young single girl. He will spend money without thinking and knowing that there is really no future in the relationship, will give the girl some degree of freedom. A single young man will do the opposite. By the time he starts splashing cash on you, have it in mind that you have automatically become his property and part of his future plans. He expects a lot from the girl and the girl does the same.
In the case of dating a married man; except in rare cases, the relationship is more like a contract with both parties respecting a certain boundary.
Then again, the hope of getting someone 'Serious' while having fun and enjoying the goodies from the married man is a major motivational factor. Most eligible young Nigerian men are still struggling to find their feet and any serious relationship they get into, is part of a planning strategy. Someone that will help them plan better and secure their future which will certainly obstruct the free flow of fund like the case of a married man/single girl relationship. The married man is only in it for the ride since he is already settled and is looking for extra marital fun while the girl most often is in it for the money without commitment.
So the next time you wonder why a girl will leave you for a married man, remember the above reasons.
Onyeka 'Kerous' Ibeanusi

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