I Slept With My Neighbour's Husband

I got married 5 years ago and I have two children.
Six months ago, we moved into a new apartment. There is this particular neigbour who happens to come from my state. She is also married and we became friends. We hang out when our husbands are at work. Sometimes, I knock on her bedroom window and she opens up. Sometimes, when I’m washing clothes outside, she stays by her bedroom window to have a conversation with me.
Few months ago, after my husband left for work, I came downstairs with the intention of going to my neighbour’s apartment. Carelessly, I went straight to her window and pulled the curtain. Unfortunately, standing before me was her husband stark naked, maybe robbing cream. He stirred at me and I was short of words. I just said, “I am sorry oo.” He quietly said, “it is ok, my wife is not at home.

Since then, I have been feeling guilty and worried. Also, the size of the man’s penis has never left my imagination. So one day, I went to their apartment again in the morning just to apologize to the man and his wife, but when I got there, I saw only the man in the sitting room. Before I could open my mouth to greet him or to say I am sorry, he grabbed me and started kissing me.
I tried to stop but I could not. For a moment I lost control. He removed my clothes and went down on me. It was like my brain was going to explode. We had sex which took me to orgasm. I have never felt the way since I got married. But after the sex, I pretended to be angry with him.
He begged me for forgiveness and asked me not to tell anyone. I agreed. But my problem now is, I cannot stop thinking about that moment. It has been two months and there is no day that I don’t think about that day. Strangely, the man has never looked my way again. Right now, I feel he used me, but I still hunger for what he did to me. I am confused and don’t know what to do.
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