I must confess that the first time I heard that some marital arrangements are beginning to accommodate this oddness…I did not believe it. Not until a lady wrote me a few days ago. That her ‘abroad returnee’ husband suggested they make their sex life more exciting by bringing in a female participant. This was after she had their second baby. She said that when she objected-he asked if she would rather prefer he starts cheating on her-with someone out there. She also claimed that he gave her the liberty to bring in whoever she prefers. Grudgingly-she gave in. That was the genesis of the ‘three some’ that is now threatening to tear her marriage apart. She said that on the occasions that the said lady (whom they normally pay off after every session) joined them…that her husband reluctantly touched her because he concentrated more on the other lady. And these days, he hardly touches her when they are alone!
Another male friend(whose line of business has to do with ‘women’s things’) said that a good number of his supposed married female clients have actually approached him with requests such as helping them to find a willing participant-in a ‘three some’ arrangement. These women take it upon themselves to look for a willing participant (usually young girls that are in for the money)-rather than risk their husbands making out (elsewhere) with someone they don’t know. I also hear there are exclusive social settings that are purely for couples that want to sample each other’s ‘better half’…this, they call ‘swinging.’
I have since been asking ‘must any woman reduce herself to this level (to an obviously weird man) in order to stay married?’ It is only a man with a questionable state of mind that will even dare think along this line. What are women letting themselves put up with-in the name of marriage? What else could be more degrading? Which ‘self respecting’ woman will put up with a mere suggestion of such ‘sickness?’
For goodness sake, there is little or no hope for any marriage whose sanctity is thrown to the dogs. A marriage should observe certain limits (e.g. keeping the marriage bed undefiled) based on the ‘values’ of those involved. If ‘love making’ is the way that I have come to understand it, I wonder what is there to enjoy when one can’t even focus on who he is in the act with. What joy is there to derive from prancing from one ‘body’ to another? Which woman is happy foregoing her ‘pleasure’ to watch her husband pound another in her presence? Why would anybody stick to such outright degradation?
If a man decides you are no longer good enough for him in the bedroom (despite your best efforts), please refuse to be part of any ‘sick’ idea he comes up with. Refusing to be dragged lower than you wish to go is not arrogance; it is self-respect and no self-respecting woman will let herself tolerate this sick arrangement-in the name of marriage.
When you give wings to every weird imagination that crosses your mind…you will remain slave to every ‘unwholesome thought.’ To live a happy life, you must maintain a good deal of ‘restraint.’ One should cultivate some values too; you should be able to say ‘no’ to certain weirdness.
It’s abhorable that young girls (I hear they now do it for more money from their patrons) who wish to live respectable lives- someday, allow themselves to be reduced in this manner but for a married woman to stick same is oddness is an understatement!
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