Tracey Cox is the UK's leading expert and author on sex and relationship issue. With an academic background in psychology, 14 books on sex, relationships and body language under her belt and a television career spanning decades, she is more than well equipped to answer your dilemmas.
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What part of the female body do men look at most during sex?
MailOnline's resident sexpert Tracey Cox answers the probing question of why men love our orgasm face
Breasts, bottom or other parts, right?
Wrong.
Studies show the part of our anatomy that men focus on most when watching women have sex, isn’t our ‘naughty bits’.
It’s our face.
Why?
Most men - justifiably - believe our facial expression provides the best possible indicator of whether or not we’re faking orgasm.
Our ‘orgasm face’ is something our parents rarely talked (or indeed thought) about, but it’s now a widely accepted term and topic.
When you think about it, we’ve been watching people’s ‘orgasm’ faces in the movies for years.
The camera invariably hones in at the crucial moment to find a head thrown back in ecstasy, hair artfully arranged, a bead or two of sweat becomingly placed.
Porn has orgasm faces aplenty - except, just like the Hollywood versions, they’re not remotely real.
I was privy to seeing the real thing in vivid detail when I did The Sex Inspectors, which involved watching video footage of real couples having sex, then analyzing where it was all going horribly wrong.
I can therefore report back that most people’s facial expression at the point of orgasm isn’t anything like the movies or porn suggest.
It is, I’m afraid, a bit like what most of us fear.
Most people look red in the face, sweaty (and not in a good way), our faces contorted and scrunched up in an unflattering fashion, mouths often open in a kind of roar (that’ll be the blokes).
Then there are the strange noises people make, let alone things they say.
So we’re fairly safe in the common assumption that our own orgasm face may not be too pretty.
But so what if it’s not?
We've all seen orgasm faces in the movies, but how do you perfect yours?
Sex isn’t about looking pretty. It’s about lust and passion which are raw, primitive emotions.
Quite frankly, if I was sleeping with someone whose face remained terribly composed at the point of climax, I’d be a bit miffed!
Far sexier to look out of control and like you don’t care what you look like!
It's also intimate to keep your eyes open and trained on each other.
David M. Schnarch - a highly respected U.S. couples’ counsellor and author - is a huge fan of ‘eyes open orgasms’ saying it strikes him as absurd that we’d want to close our eyes at such an intimate moment.
I’ve given it as ‘homework’ to couples I’ve worked with and while all struggled to begin with to keep their eyes open, saying they felt embarrassed and self-conscious, those who kept going, said it turned out to be one of the most erotic and loving moments they’d experienced.
Some people swear by it, others can’t do it without laughing.
I think it depends a lot on your personalities and is a bit like yoga: it inspires a love or hate reaction.
Worth giving a go though…unless of course, you have something to hide.
Because men are right: our faces are a brilliant indicator of whether our orgasms are real or not!
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